Jasmine working out to Fight Like A Girl<\/a><\/p>\nI\u2019m very nervous about tomorrow.\u00a0 <\/span>Wed July 18th is my final surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>They will remove my expanders and put in my final implants.\u00a0 <\/span>Though I am so looking forward to getting these uncomfortable expanders out, I am filled with anxiety again about surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>I really do NOT like to be put under. \u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know why I have such a fear of that but I do.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m also concerned about my healing time.\u00a0 <\/span>I really hope and pray this surgery is much easier than my first surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>My surgeon says it won\u2019t be as bad as my first one.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s just frustrating because I\u2019ve just lately been able to lay on my side.\u00a0 <\/span>Now with surgery again, I guess it will start all over of how I can lay down. My original surgery was in February and my pec muscles are still sore.\u00a0 <\/span>I pray my recovery time won\u2019t be near as bad as the first surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>Really appreciate any and all prayers for a successful surgery.<\/p>\nNot sure if I will feel like blogging in the next few days but I will try to update you all.\u00a0 <\/span>You can also check out my facebook page anita cochran music and my twitter account\u00a0 <\/span>– theanitacochran \u00a0 <\/span>Those are quicker to respond than writing in the blog. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nI really want to thank everyone who has said a prayer or sent a positive comment my way through my journey.\u00a0 <\/span>I believe in prayer and positive vibes and believe that the prayers and positivity has really helped me! If you wouldn\u2019t mind, please keep it up!:) \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nJuly 18\u00a0 <\/span>Surgery! Goodbye Expanders!<\/b><\/p>\nSurgery day is finally here!\u00a0 <\/span>I had to get up at 4:45am to be at the hospital by 6am for my surgery. \u00a0 <\/span>They will remove these uncomfortable expanders and put in my implants.\u00a0 <\/span>The expanders are very uncomfortable. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nI didn\u2019t have to wait in the waiting room very long before they took me back which was great.\u00a0 <\/span>Last time I had to wait 4 hours! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nMy plastic surgeon came in to talk with me for a bit and then they took me back and drugged me up.\u00a0 <\/span>They gave me a drug of some sort to relax me before they put me under. \u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve only been completely put under one time before and that was when I had my mastectomy\u2019s in February.\u00a0 <\/span>As a singer I\u2019m always afraid my vocal chords will get messed up.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve had surgery\u2019s on my hands before with broken wrist and finger but I stayed awake for them but I can\u2019t for this surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>I have to be put under.<\/p>\nWhen they gave me the drug I went from being wide away and talking to out like a light.\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t remember anything until I woke up with a stinging pain.\u00a0 <\/span>I was in surgery for about 1 hour and 45 minutes.\u00a0 <\/span>My friend who has been with me at all surgery\u2019s, doctor appointments and chemo\u2019s was the first face I saw when I woke up.\u00a0 <\/span>The stinging pain is from the incisions. \u00a0 <\/span>I guess I slept for about 1.5 hours then the nurses woke me up.\u00a0 <\/span>As soon I I woke up they wanted me to get dressed and go home. I mean as soon as I woke up.\u00a0 <\/span>I was very dizzy and still drugged but they wanted me out so I guess they needed my bed! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nThey wheeled me out to the car and home we went!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nI was still heavily drugged when I got home and basically slept on the couch for the rest of the day.\u00a0 <\/span>I was hungry for dinner and I had had a great chicken dish that a friend of mine had special made for me. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nSleeping in bed was difficult though.\u00a0 <\/span>My pec muscles are extremely sore again so I can\u2019t lay down all the way.\u00a0 <\/span>I have big pillow that has arms on it so I played against that.\u00a0 <\/span>I was up every hour using the bathroom because I had a catheter during surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s common to use the bathroom often if you have a catheter I\u2019m told. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nJuly 19<\/b><\/p>\n
Woke up and had breakfast.\u00a0 <\/span>Eggs, avocado and an english muffin.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m struggling getting around from being sore.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m on pain killers and antibiotics.\u00a0 <\/span>I feel really bloated and sore.\u00a0 <\/span>Really didn\u2019t do much but lay on the couch most of the day.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m still not good to spend the day on the couch.\u00a0 <\/span>I hate that.\u00a0 <\/span>I feel like so much time get\u2019s wasted just being on the couch but I can\u2019t do much of anything else.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m so thankful this surgery is over and hoping I won\u2019t have to have anymore and I can really start to recover now!\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>I guess I will be very sore for the next few weeks.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m not supposed to lift anything over 5 lbs. \u00a0 <\/span>This sitting around crap really gets to me!\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019d rather dig a fence lol.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nA friend came over and brought us pasta and eggplant for dinner.\u00a0 <\/span>Very sweet of her to do this.\u00a0 <\/span>I went to bed around 10pm and didn\u2019t sleep very good again.\u00a0 <\/span>Awake most of the night because of the pain and being uncomfortable.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m still having major pain and numbness in my neck, arm and hand from the pinch nerve\u00a0 <\/span>also.\u00a0 <\/span>Right now I\u2019m a mess ha ha. Pain and numbness in my feet from neuropathy,\u00a0 <\/span>pain and numbness in my arm and hand, pain in my chest from the surgery and my hip bones hurting so sleeping really isn\u2019t happing. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nJuly 20<\/p>\n
My caretaker had to leave town this morning for work\u2026I\u2019m sure she\u2019s glad she had to leave ha ha!\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m alone now.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll be ok.\u00a0 <\/span>Just bored.\u00a0 <\/span>Again\u2026I\u2019m not good at just sitting. I woke up and made hard boiled eggs so I could take my antibiotic and pain meds.\u00a0 <\/span>Shouldn\u2019t take these things on an empty stomach.<\/p>\nDoctor said I could take off my bandages and shower today.\u00a0 <\/span>I hope I don\u2019t get grossed out by the incisions ha. \u00a0 <\/span>I really didn\u2019t do much at all but lay around.\u00a0 <\/span>My pec muscles are still sore and the incisions are still burning.\u00a0 <\/span>I guess that\u2019s normal.\u00a0 <\/span>I feel really swollen and bloated from the surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>I can\u2019t tell you the last time I felt like \u201cMe\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve gained weight for the first time in my life and I\u2019m told it\u2019s the chemo, steroids and the estrogen blocker pill that\u2019s causing it.\u00a0 <\/span>I really don\u2019t feel like myself at all.\u00a0 <\/span>Hopefully in a few days I will feel better.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nA couple dear friends brought me Pad Thai for dinner and they stayed the night with me.\u00a0 <\/span>It was nice to have company.\u00a0 <\/span>Again, I can\u2019t tell you how happy I am that my taste is almost back to almost normal now.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s wonderful when food actually tastes good!\u00a0 <\/span>I was pretty tired around 10pm so I went to bed.\u00a0 <\/span>I didn\u2019t sleep the best but I did sleep a little.\u00a0 <\/span>Just hard to get comfortable.<\/p>\nJuly 21<\/p>\n
I woke up around 6am with my arm and hand in pain.\u00a0 <\/span>This pinch nerve in my neck is literally a \u201cpain in the neck\u201d, arm and hand. I took my dogs out into the sunroom so I wouldn\u2019t wake my friends up so early. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nMy friends left around 10am.\u00a0 <\/span>I hated to think that I had yet another day of sitting on the couch.\u00a0 <\/span>It was a nice day today. \u00a0 <\/span>Hot, but not too hot.\u00a0 <\/span>I pulled a few weeds out of the flower bed but reminded myself every minute to not overdue it.\u00a0 <\/span>I had to go get my medicine so I took a shower and hoped that I would be ok to drive. \u00a0 <\/span>I did ok driving but it was a little hard on the turning part.\u00a0 <\/span>I really only went to get my meds and stopped at another store then home.\u00a0 <\/span>Didn\u2019t want to drive too much. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nI\u2019ve spent the day alone with my dogs and cat and yes I was bored out of my mind.\u00a0 <\/span>And when you can\u2019t do much you can google too much!!!!\u00a0 <\/span>I find that when I\u2019m alone I think about my illness a lot more.\u00a0 <\/span>I worry more, I do more research and worry more and I let it get me into a sad mood.\u00a0 <\/span>Sometimes I wish google didn\u2019t exists if you know what I mean.\u00a0 <\/span>This is why I like going to the lake.\u00a0 <\/span>The water, serenity.\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t seem to think about cancer there as much.\u00a0 <\/span>I guess I think about life and living more when I\u2019m on the water.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s just peaceful.\u00a0 <\/span>Don\u2019t get me wrong, my home is very peaceful and lot\u2019s of wild animals around to watch but being at home \u2026.well\u2026.you see all the things that need to be done right? \u00a0 <\/span>Things that\u2019s been put on hold since my diagnosis that stresses me out.\u00a0 <\/span>How I need to purge my house, it all overwhelms me and causes me stress.\u00a0 <\/span>When I go to the lake, I don\u2019t see these things and it\u2019s much easier for me to be stress free.\u00a0 <\/span>Though I feel pretty upset right now, I know tomorrow I will be better.\u00a0 <\/span>Being a lone just allows too much time to think right now. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nJuly 22<\/p>\n
Still feeling pretty sore and very limited to what I can do.\u00a0 <\/span>My spirit is still pretty low since surgery.\u00a0 <\/span>There are sometimes that it hits me hard out of the blue \u201cyou are being treated for breast cancer!\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>I still ask \u201cwhy me?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow\u201d?\u00a0 <\/span>When those questions pop up again it can make me feel sad and sometimes even scared again and that can make you feel hopeless.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWill it come back?\u00a0 <\/span>If so, where?\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>I catch myself worrying about what I eat and drink.\u00a0 <\/span>I know I sometimes may repeat myself in this blog but when these feeling occur they are real again.\u00a0 <\/span>Was it the estrogen\/progesterone hormone replace pill I took for almost 10 years?\u00a0 <\/span>I really feel that maybe that\u2019s what caused my breast cancer.\u00a0 <\/span>Eating at restaurants all the time not knowing if their meat has been fed hormones?\u00a0 <\/span>For some reason way too many woman are getting estrogen\/ progesterone\u00a0 <\/span>breast cancer.\u00a0 <\/span>We are getting too much of it. \u00a0 <\/span>Getting cancer isn\u2019t the only bad thing.\u00a0 <\/span>The treatments are also bad for us. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nFact is, chemo helped save my life but in so many ways it damaged me.\u00a0 <\/span>My bones ache, my hipbones are possibly dead now from the chemo and steroids cutting off blood flow to them causing them to die causing me to possibly have full hip replacement when I finished with my treatment.\u00a0 <\/span>My organs can be effected by the chemo down the road as well.\u00a0 <\/span>One never knows what it can end up doing to you.\u00a0 <\/span>The neuropathy in my feet caused my chemo is of the charts in pain.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m just learning to live with that.\u00a0 <\/span>The estrogen blocker pill I now have to take for 5-10 years is causing me tremendous amount of bone pain and stiffness and can also cause osteoporosis. But\u2026chemo helped save my life and the estrogen blocker pill prevents my cancer from returning by 50%!\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s a big percentage so I have to take it.\u00a0 <\/span>I didn\u2019t want a \u201cnew normal\u201d but I have one now. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nIt\u2019s almost been 1 year since my diagnosis.\u00a0 <\/span>1 year that I feel like my life has been put on hold.\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s what my doctors told me at the beginning.\u00a0 <\/span>They all said\u00a0 <\/span>my job for the next year or so would be to fight this cancer.\u00a0 <\/span>That every thing else would have to be put on hold.\u00a0 <\/span>They were right.\u00a0 <\/span>With each stage of my treatment, you just start to feel a little better than you have chemo again or another surgery that set\u2019s you back.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m told now that I\u2019m past my implant surgery I just have to finish out my chemo and I\u2019ll be done with treatment.\u00a0 <\/span>Done with treating cancer but not done treating all the side effects that have occurred.\u00a0 <\/span>Some say it takes a few years to really feel like yourself again.\u00a0 <\/span>I feel somewhat lost as to who I was before.\u00a0 <\/span>An artist, a creator, a performer to a cancer patient.\u00a0 <\/span>I sometimes wonder how do I go back to that?\u00a0 <\/span>Making records, touring for a living, it\u2019s very scary for me.\u00a0 <\/span>As an entertainer you have to keep on working or concert buyers forget about you and book shows with other artists.\u00a0 <\/span>They also book shows in December for the rest of the year.\u00a0 <\/span>If all goes well I will just be finishing my treatments around that time.\u00a0 <\/span>All jobs are hard to return to after a long battle with an illness but being an artist could almost be impossible.???\u00a0 <\/span>It isn\u2019t like you lose your job and go apply for another one.\u00a0 <\/span>Sorry to get on a soap box but these are real fears that I have.\u00a0 <\/span>I mean I am who I am, I will always be an artist, a creator in some way but making a living at it may be very hard.<\/p>\nThe industry has also changed.\u00a0 <\/span>People do not buy music anymore.\u00a0 <\/span>Everyone streams music for little to no fee making it very hard to make money off of your recorded music.\u00a0 <\/span>Unless you are a huge entertainer the only way you really make money now is to tour.\u00a0 <\/span>Selling records just isn\u2019t it.\u00a0 <\/span>You use to tour to support a new song or record and you made money from the record sales.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s now flipped. Now you record music to support your tour and you make money playing the live shows.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nThis weekend I pretty much spend most of my time alone causing me to think way too much.\u00a0 <\/span>With all of these worries running through my head it dawned on me that I have basically had every side effect from the chemo, steroids and now the estrogen blocker pill that there is.\u00a0 <\/span>I wondered why and then it hit me that maybe I am really supposed to be sharing my story to help others so I\u2019ve had to have all the side effects so I can talk about it from first hand. \u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s what God has in mind for me but right now I really do feel it\u2019s my responsibility to share my experience with whoever I can to help in the fight against breast cancer.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve always believed in the importance of music and how it can heal you or help you through things in life.\u00a0 <\/span>My prayer is that in some way I can use my story, my song, my video to encourage woman to fight their own battle and to help find a cure for breast cancer so no one has to do chemo or go through what I\u2019ve gone through.\u00a0 <\/span>Or, better yet, finding ways of preventing breast cancer from even happening.\u00a0 <\/span>Please please download my song \u201cFight Like A\u00a0 <\/span>Girl\u201d.