Feb. 27th
I am still very very sore and still can’t do hardly anything on my own. I don’t feel that the pain has lightened up much at all. I will say the 4 drains they put in have not had much fluid in them over the last few days so hopefully I will get to have a couple of them removed tomorrow when I see the surgeon for my check up.
Everything feels pretty numb 24 hours per day and very painful at the same time. Sometimes a shooting pain comes out of nowhere and it sends the pain level to the sky! Thank God it doesn’t last long. It’s a painful stinging feeling.
Most of the pain has been in the center of my chest which I find odd. Maybe it’s deferred pain? The incisions aren’t hurting like I thought they would.
My pec muscles hurt really bad. They had to remove them and reattach them when they put the expanders in. It also hurts and sometimes stings on my sides were the tubes were installed. Still dealing with chemo side effects on top of the breast surgery. My leg muscles are a tiny bit better but still very weak. My neuropathy in my feet went away during surgery and stayed gone until yesterday Feb 26th. For some reason it started hurting again really bad. That was upsetting because I thought it went away for good. I’m taking two Gabapentins a day now, pain meds every 4 hours and a muscle relaxer every 8 hours. I am getting a little more sleep at night. I’m chalking that up to the muscle relaxers. I’m not writing all of this to complain, I’m simply letting everyone know what you go through when you have this illness.
I’m so thankful that my cancer is treatable (crossing fingers/saying prayers) but wow had this been a long journey so far. Like I’ve said before in my journal, I am not one to sit on the couch all day. I’m just not a couch potato at all. Now that the weather in TN has been warmer with sunshine it’s killing me to not be outside. I hate being trapped on the couch inside anyway but when it’s nice outside it only make it worse. I see yard work that already needs to be done. Weeds need to be pulled out of the flower beds. This is going to be a hard summer for me. I won’t be able to get travel for shows, drive my tractor, remodel anything (I love to remodel and yes I do the work). I’m guessing I will live in my studio writing and recording my new record. At least a good thing will come out of all of this trapped inside situation.
When I was first told I had cancer, people would tell me “this is your job for the next year and a half. Your job now is to fight and heal”. Trust me, they were right. It’s a full time job having cancer or any serious illness. You fight and fight. From doctor appointments to doctor appointments. Feeling ill all the time, managing your hospital bills on top of your normal bills getting paid. I am so very thankful for my friends who have really been there for me thru all of this. I could have never done it alone. It takes you and your friends. You create this little army to help you fight. I’m so thankful of my little army…my team. I sure wouldn’t have wanted to go through this fight without them. I am so blessed to have them. And as my doctor explained to me not long ago. She said I was in a marathon and I was trying to sprint though it. She said I needed to slow down and quit trying to rush things. That I wouldn’t be through this until 1.5 years from time of first treatment. This mean…next spring I will be back to my old self.
I’m a little nervous for the test result of my lymph node that was removed during surgery. They normally remove 2 during surgery but my doctor only removed one from what we know. He told my family and friends after surgery that he removed the lymph node that showed positive for cancer before I started chemo. That when he removed it during surgery it didn’t look like it had cancer in it but he sent it out for testing. This test takes about 10 days to come back. I’m asking everyone to PLEASE PRAY that the test comes back clean of any cancer. If it comes back clean I will not have to have radiation! After having all the chemo I really don’t want my body to go thru radiation also.
I have a few errands to run today so at least I will get to be outside riding in a car and see the sunshine:) I hope everyone has a warm sunny day!
Barnin says
No doubt you will write some amazing songs during your forced hibernation! Don’t worry, you can count on Nashville to throw some more nasty weather your way to make it bearable. 😉 We can’t wait to hopefully see an appearance from you at the benefit! <3 It's only three weeks away…but we are so hoping you are stronger. Take it easy.
Norma Schiller says
Hugs and prayers, Anita! Keep good thoughts about your test coming back clean of any cancer! I know it must be tough for you not being able to do any of the things that you are wanting to do, but God has a plan for you and this is part of the plan. Do everything your doctors tell you to do and hopefully, you’ll be back on your feet before you know it. Much love and prayers, my friend! Love ya! xxxxxx
Vicki Longhurst says
You are in my prayers. I’m so sorry you are going through so much but by sharing you are an inspiration to many I’m sure, in many ways. I pray your days get easier and less painful quickly. Hope you can get out in the sunshine more soon and soak in some healing energy. Hugs, love and prayers.
Thelma Gross says
My dad use to always remind me that God has a plan for everyone and he does have a plan for you as well. Prayers for a safe and whole healing proces.
Judy Rose says
Anita, I’ve always heard you find out who your true friends are in times of need. Thank God you have found how lucky you are, your true friends are there with you. They are there to help you to weather this storm that has found a place in your life. With their help you will have the strength to heal and get through these days when you want to be outside. Right now it is in the cards to write and record. Who knows what beautiful music will come out. So, kick back, take a deep breath and let the words flow. Enjoy your friends and know you are loved by many.
Mario Verheijen says
I just want to wish you all the best and say to you; get well soon. I’m from the Netherlands. And I saw you just once at the Wildhorse Saloon in Nashville, many years ago. I thought; what a great singer. So I hope to see and hear more from you in the future.
Tim Moore says
I am a teacher and coach at a small school in Illinois. One of my favorite all time songs is “What If I Said”. Heard it on radio the other day for first time in a long time. Decided to get on your website and saw that you have been ill. I am praying for you and hope you have a full and speedy recovery. Would love to see and hear u sing in person someday soon.
Chris Fertitta says
Hey there Anita,
I just finished reading all your recent posts. Thanks so much for taking the time to write them and keep us updated. My gosh you’ve been through so much, and I know it’s not over yet, but the worst is definitely behind you. I’m SO SO glad to know that you’re cancer free and that now you can begin your road to recovery. I wish that I was there in Nashville so that I could visit in person, but please know that my healing thoughts and prayers continue for you daily. Not only are you a talented musical warrior, but you have proven yourself to be a cancer warrior as well.
You GO GIRL!
Love you, 🙂
Chris
Ed Cowman says
I have been following the courageous and inspiring accounts of what you are going through and am reminded of a wonderful quotation that is attributed to a lady by the name of Vivian Greene – “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass . . . it’s about learning to dance in the rain!” There has been a book written that gives “dancing lessons” – it is called “Learning to Dance in the Rain – The Power of Gratitude” by Mac Anderson & BJ Gallagher. I shared this with a dear friend of mine who has recently experienced some of life’s storms. I felt strongly that I should tell you about this believing that these “strong feelings” or impressions are God’s way of speaking to us. So, I am sharing this with you believing that there are things in this book that God may use to encourage you and to teach you some new, or, remind you of some old “dance steps” at this time. Meanwhile, I will pray for you!
Don says
Just learning about your fight, can’t believe it, I listen to your What if I Said and Cheeting Heart almost daily, it always makes feel great. I wish I could make you feel great, praying for you and love you.
Don from Pittsburgh and Metter Ga