December 18 Recovery
It’s been about a month since my last entry. Another month filled with doctor appointments again. I thought that once I had my port removed my doctor appointments would lesson to seeing my oncologist and breast surgeon every 3 months and these weekly appointments would finally end but…they haven’t.
November 28
I went to see my general doctor for swelling around my ankle that was now causing pain up my calf muscle and a new lump I found on the same side and spot as my original breast cancer tumor. The lump was also right where this chest wrap seemed to be cutting into my skin. I wondered if in fact it was a new tumor or a fat narcosis built up from the wrap. I was thankful that I was already scheduled to see my oncologist and my breast surgeon that following week. I just needed to not panic but….sometimes it’s hard not to.
My general doctor said the swelling in my ankle could be from the chemo sort of killing my blood vessels and that swelling may never go away. She felt that wasn’t the case and suggested I go to physical therapy because I could have pulled a tendon or something. I told her I was so tired of going to doctor appointments so she gave me some exercises to do at home to see if that helped. As far as my lump, she didn’t think it was anything to worry about but to make sure I told my oncologist the next week.
Dec 5th
I had my 3 month check up with my oncologists. She did blood work and gave me a physical exam. They do the blood work right in her office so she get’s those results while I’m there. There’s a couple she has to send out so we have to wait on those. She said everything looked great and that she believed the lump was fat build up and suggested that I take off the chest wrap and just where a jog bra that zips up the front. I wish I would have know this before and didn’t wear the uncomfortable chest wrap. I suggest anyone that has to have breast surgery and has to wear this surgical wrap to ask their surgeon if they can wear a jog bra the zips up the front. It’s a lot better. It still gets uncomfortable because you have to wear it 24 hours a day. Only take it off to shower. That get’s old!
She also asked me about my hips and that she wanted me to see a bone specialist for that. I also have swelling around my ankle that could be from chemo or over compensating for my hip pain.
Two days went by and her office called me and said the last test results were in and that my calcium level was too high and that my doctor thought it was from dehydration. They wanted me to drink a lot of water and juices and then come back in the following week to test it again. The also said they set up a bone density test for me. Of course I did the wrong thing and googled high calcium levels. The first things that popped up were…bone cancer and blood cancer. Of course I now get worried. And why now was she asking for a bone density test? I thought “Oh no maybe cancer has gone to my bones”. All of my doctors have told me that at anytime I have anything wrong my instant go to will be “oh no, cancer is back and want to panic”. They all said this is very normal for all breast cancer survivors and I would probably feel that way for the rest of my life.
For the next 5 days I drank lot’s of water praying that my new calcium test would come back fine.
Dec 11
I went back in for blood work and then off to have my bone density test. I was worried. The estrogen blocker pill I have to take causes bone and joint pain and stiffness but …was it that or did I have bone cancer?
Dec 12 First thing this morning I go to see my breast surgeon for my 3 month check up. They did an ultrasound of the new lump I found and said it was just a fatty deposit or nothing…that it was probably caused by the chest wrap cutting into me. I was soooooo relieved!!
Dec 17
I went to see the bone specialist. They took exrays of my foot and said the swelling around my ankle was tendinitis and he set up physical therapy for me for that. I’m not happy about more doctor appointments but I’m happy that it wasn’t caused from chemo and would eventually go away.
He also X-rayed a bone spur that I have had for many years on the same foot. It’s just below my big toe. With neuropathy in my feet it has caused my bone spur to hurt worse. It’s preventing my big toe from bending backwards so when I walk or drive a car it causes a lot of pain and swelling. So with that and the swelling and pain in my ankle, I’ve wanted to cut my foot off at times!!!
He did a few physical things with me with my hips and said he didn’t think I needed hip replacement just yet. He wanted me to do some physical therapy on my hips as well and to workout with weights to get muscle built back up around my hips. Off to physical therapy now for 4 visits to see how I do.
So much for not having as many doctor appointments after my port was removed. I have an appointment tomorrow for my annual echogram to make sure chemo hasn’t affected my heart. That will be 6 appointments in just over two weeks but….thank God they all ended with much better results and the big one…thumbs up from my doctors on no cancer!!! Unless something comes up, I won’t need to see my oncologist or breast surgeon for three more months!!! Happy about that!!
In general, I feel my over all health is very good. All of my bloodwork ended up with great tests…everything was straight down the middle. My doctor said with everything I had gone through the past year and a half she was amazed at how well I was doing. Even with great test results it still takes a long time to really recover. On the outside people tell me I look great and to them it may seem that I am all finished with everything and back to my normal life but…..not so fast.
My energy level is still not near what it use to be. Often times I have to push myself to do things or to stay motivated. I have nerve pain and bone pain 24 hours a day in some part of my body but it’s always in my feet though the neuropathy in my feet has gotten a little better but still very painful. I’ve lost about all my leg muscles and strength in my arms. It’s hard for me to even climb a set of stairs. I’m praying all of that starts to change in a few weeks if my doctor gives me approval to start working out!
I will see my plastic surgeon this Friday. This will be the final follow up from my last surgery. I’m praying that he gives me the go ahead to start working out again. I have never been so physically out of shape. I’ve lost nearly all of my muscles from not being able to do anything for so long. I can’t wait until I can get into the gym and try to get in the best shape I possibly can. I really think that will make me feel so much better.
Today, I guess I need to start my Christmas shopping though it may be a little hard with my foot pain but…Christmas is less than a week away! My favorite time of the year!!!!!
Cara Barrows says
I’m so glad that none of your tests were showing cancer , it’s totally normal for your first thoughts go to that with everything you have been through. I’ve been in remission from stage IV lymphoma for almost 5 years and my mind still does that very thing if I have a new health issue.
And I totally understand what you’re saying about other people thinking that you’re “back to normal” because you look pretty good on the outside but it takes lots and LOTS of time for your body to recover, my energy level still isn’t what it was prior to having been sick. Having lingering neuropathy issues makes it difficult too. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and sending you positive thoughts for your continued healing. Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones! ~Cara Barrows
Cheryl in California says
Hi Anita: So glad your tests came back okay. I have been on the breast cancer hormone pill for almost five years. In February I will be taken off of it. When I first started it, my oncologist made me get a bone density test. Then halfway through, another one. He will make me have a final one in February at the end of taking the hormone. This is done because one of the side effects is loss of bone density. So far I have been lucky, my first two tests have been normal. I do have the bone and joint pain. I am praying this goes away when I stop taking the hormone. Some days it is unbearable.
I know how you feel, it’s like a time bomb in the back of your mind every time something happens. I guess we just have to have faith that we will be okay and enjoy each day to the fullest.
Very Merry Christmas to you and yours and hoping to see you in the New Year. Love and blessings always.
Norma Schiller says
Glad that your tests came back cancer free! I guess you feel like this never end, don’t you? Everything seems to have gone well with your tests lately, so maybe that means that 2019 is going to be the good time in your life and you will get back to feeling normal.
Take care of yourelf and have a fantastic Christmas! Much love and big hugs! <3
Renee Lovellette says
Anita,
I know exactly how you feel and I’ve had several times that if I got sick I was scared the cancer was back. I’ve been lucky to have been able to put it out of my mind as I just want to live my life without all the fear and enjoy each and every day! You will get there too I promise. As for all of the doctors appointments I can so relate to that too because i feel as though all i do is go to the doctor constantly. I’m 6 years out post surgery for my double mastectomy and finally down to seeing my oncologist every 6 months. This year I’ve had 3 surgeries and now have been able to eliminate two of my doctors so that is a victory in itself. I still have low energy and agree that people think because you look good you are back to normal which is not at all the case! So hang in there my friend and lean on other cancer survivors as well as your family ( your dear daddy), friends and Facebook family as we all care about you and are your support system!!! I know 2019 will bring you more joy and less worry!!! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers always!!! Looking forward to seeing you perform next year!!! Thank you again for being and inspiration to us all!!!!
Jo says
I was diagnosed in November this year and am in the beginning rounds of chemo. Thank you for writing your blog somehow it helps just to read through someone else’s journey as you can relate because you feel the same way. May your year be blessed.
Patrick says
You’re doing great Anita…..all things considering. I know the appointments are draining but your body has gone to hell and back and its going to take time to slowly rebuild. Very grateful all your tests have come back clean.
We’re hoping you had a nice Christmas….
Patrick
T McConnell says
I so enjoyed you on GMA during the breast cancer awareness month and love listening to your song as I get dressed in the mornings! A great energizing song, and the video is outstanding too! I am a 73 yr. survivor of adult acute myeloid leukemia diagnosed in 2016. If you are not familiar with Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work on how to “assume the feelings of the wish fulfilled” you might check out a few YouTubes to propel your healthy self into a permanent successful stay whole and well self!
Jackie Tyler says
Hi Anita, I’m hoping you are doing well and getting stronger. I had hoped for an update from you by now. I am a stage 0, ductal carcinoma survivor, so I guess you can say that I am a poster child for early diagnosis! I wish you nothing but continued recovery and that you will be back to your music really soon. Lots of love and prayers!
Robert Boisselle says
Hi Anita…we haven’t “spoken” in more months than I would imagine….
We spoke about my cancer diagnosis (prostate)…and surgery….at the time, I wished you the best…still wishing you the best…
Bob
Joy says
Miss Cochran
Stay strong and don’t give up. I have been Cancer free for 8 years now. I still have to go to the doctor every year. I have the fear that it may have come back before each visit. Each time I feel a small lump I worry but I know it is just scar tissue. Those fears are normal. I refuse to let Cancer win. I will fight it to the end. Don’t ever give up. Family and friends mean well when they tell you that you are looking great. Understand they are not sure what to say or do. You are a survivor. There is nothing like being told you have the big “C”. I never felt so alone. I had no family around me, so I went through my surgery and treatments alone. It was the best thing for me. I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone else’s emotions while I was dealing with mine. I wish you the very best in your recovery. Please keep us posted with your recovery.
Debbie Bookout says
I hope your feeling well today! And if you have found any good ways of regaining your energy please share! Im starting to think the hardest part of this Breast Cancer isnt the treatments its the healing after its gone! And everyone thinks because your looking like your old self then you must feel like your old self to. Im a CNA at a nursing home and i work 3 12 hour shifts 7p to 7 a and the 2 days after im just wore out! With your heavy work load i know you are! I found your song about 2 weeks ago and i cant tell you how many times ive listen to it! I love your song❤️ I just wish i had found it last year, but i have it now and it is my go to song when i have no energy and feel like everything is to much and caving in around me! I just wanted to say Thank You! And your in my Prayers at night or morning when ever it is im going to sleep😇 I bet youve even got a song inside you about the fight after cancer! Just waiting to be sung💗💗💗 You have a new fan for Life! 💗💗💗