Chemo #4!

Nov 20th

I manage to sleep a few hours last night! I remember watching the clock until about 1:30am and then I looked again and it was 4:30am. That’s exciting to me lol. 3 hours!!
Got up and had waffles with orange juice and coffee. Though I slept some last night, I was up 3 times with stomach issues in the bathroom so I started taking my stomach medicine again to help prevent that. I’ve never been one to take medicine. I have to have a really bad head ache to even take and Aleve or anything. All these new meds I’ve been giving I’m trying to only take when I need to. Chemo is so harmful to your body that I don’t want to add any other problems by taking all this medicine. My doctor already said that my liver enzymes were elevated and told me to not have any alcohol and to not take any pain meds unless I really need to. Everything you put in your body goes thru your liver. Doctor said the chemo is probably making my liver this way. I pray it goes back to normal.

Had an interview with one of by closest friends Terri Clark today for her radio show “Country Gold with TERRI CLARK”. I always have a great time with her whether we are playing music on stage or just hanging out together. We’ve known each other for a long time and she’s always been a true friend. She has been very supportive and helpful during this phase of my life and wanted to help spread the word on my blog in hopes it will bring education to woman about breast cancer and making sure woman get their yearly exams done every year! Cancer is an awful disease no matter what kind of cancer you have. Terri lost her beautiful sweet momma to Leiomyosarcoma cancer a few years ago and is well aware of the effects of witnessing this disease and all the side effects that comes from it. Thanks TC for helping me spread the word!!
Check out Terri’s website so you can listen to her radio show and catch up on what she’s up to at www.terriclark.com.

After I left the radio station I ran a few errands and kept singing song from The Judds.  Terri and I had talked about how much they inspired me decision to follow my dream of music.  My mom and I use to sing together in a band and as a duo sometimes from the time I was 5 years old so The Judds always meant a lot to us.  We were the “unfamous mother daughter duo” lol.  I came home and thought of a way I could maybe possible burn off a little energy…play the drums to some Judd music yeah!!

 

Nov 21

I had lab work done at oncologist office, to make sure my blood counts were ok. Everything looks ok but my Liver enzymes are still higher than they should be.  I played the Grand Ole Opry with Terri Clark again tonight and as always it was a huge honer! The Opry stage is simply the best!! It definitely helps me to play music when I can…reminds me that I am someone other than a cancer patient!!!

Nov 22

Haven’t felt very good so I went to lake for a few days for Thanksgiving. Couldn’t really be around a lot of people and food tastes horrible so Turkey dinner wasn’t something I could enjoy anyway so I chose to go see the water. My family had dinner at my brothers house. Sometimes it’s easier to not be around people because you don’t always want to be that “sick” person.

Nov 23 Thanksgiving

Today, my caretaker (not sure what I would do without her) made us Thanksgiving Dinner. I did actually manage to eat a little turkey but it didn’t taste so great for sure. The only thing on my plate that actually tasted someone normal was corn and a sweet potato. It’s getting harder and harder for me to find things to eat. Foods I could tolerate before now I can’t. It’s very frustrating to say the least. I’m hungry, I want to eat!!! I was thankful for the food though and that I could at least taste some of it.

Nov 24- 28th

Started to feel a little bit better these last few days but of course it’s just before chemo again. Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year and my friends always say I decorate my house like store lol. I love lights, wreaths, Christmas music and I love to decorate outside as well. My neighbor does his yard very nice so for us neighbors it’s either you do a lot of Christmas decor outside or nothing ha ha. Hard to compete with him. I usually put up two trees in the house but this year I just did the one in the main part of the house. Trying hard to be in the mood for Christmas but to be honest it’s been hard to get there. Feeling sick all the time, not enjoying food, really takes away from the joy but I’m trying. Little by little I’ve managed to decorate my house and yes…it has made me happier. If I spend most of my time on the couch at least I get to be surrounded by Christmas decor and a fire place.
I did post my Christmas song “Snowing In My Hometown” on my Facebook page. Check it out at if you like. It’s on iTunes and Amazon. The taste of some foods have come back over the last couple days..of course just before my next chemo ugh! Actually had a pasta dish with red sauce for the first time since I started chemo months ok and it tasted ok…not the best but I could tolerate it!

Nov 29

Woke up and took my steroid pills …two, twice a day, day before chemo and the same the day after chemo. I met with my oncologist today and had my blood work done to make sure I can have chemo tomorrow. Doctor said everything looked ok so I can have the chemo treatment. She mentioned again that my liver enzymes were high but not to panic. She believes it’s the chemo causing that. The liver and kidneys take a beating from the chemo because it all get’s processed thru those two organs. I pray the doctor is right and that once the chemo treatments are done my liver will be ok. She keeps asking me if I drink a lot of alcohol. I tell her no because I rarely drink and really never have. She did tell me to not have any alcohol or tylenol. Both of those are the worst thing for your liver.

I forgot to mention back in my last blog that I had a scare with another lump in the same breast as my original tumor and that my thyroid looked off on my pet scan. My doctor had ordered me to have ultra sounds of both so ….three weeks ago I had the ultra sounds done. I was really worried about the new lump and my thyroid. I’ve taken thyroid meds for many years so this really scared me. SO LUCKY…my ultras sounds both came back fine!!!…no new cancer!! They actually did a new mammo and ultra sound of the new lump and my doctor said the new lump was nothing to worry about that it would just go away on its own…it was very tiny. I can’t feel it now. She also told me that the ultra sound showed my original tumor has shrunk even more than before so…..the chemo is working thank God!!!
As far as my thyroid, she said she thinks the levels are just off a little because of the chemo. Again…chemo effects everything in your body but…it’s also the only way I can beat this thing and live so…I don’t really have a choice. I am so thankful that these tests came back ok. As of right now it seems that the treatment plan is working so far.

 

Nov 30th CHEMO #4

Chemo day ugh! This is treatment number 4 out of 6 so…I’m have way thru these treatments now!!! Counting down!! I got to the infusion room at 9:30am and started all of my chemo’s . Again, one at a time, one hour for each along with fluids. The doctor had decreased my Docetaxel and Carboplatin chemos by 20% for my 2nd and 3rd treatments because I got so sick after my first chemo treatment. On chemo number 3 she upped it back up by 10%. This time she upped it 10% again so now I’m back to where I should be. They gave me a hand full of pills like normal. Anti acid pill, steroid pill, and a pill for nausea.
My chemo buddy went along. We basically sit there the whole time on computers. I chewed ice the whole time again to keep from getting mouth sores. So far that really works. Haven’t had a mouth sore yet.
I fell a sleep towards the end of my treatment. First time that has happened.
I got home around 3:30pm. Tried to eat and of course I’m now back to food tasting bad. Happened quicker this time.
I have a Neulasta patch again on my arm again and it will go off tomorrow around 5:30ish. This will boost my white blood count but also cause me bone pain from the side effect. Sometimes I wonder which is worse. Getting sick from low white blood cell count or the side effects of the Neulasta. Answer to that….take the Neulasta patch because the bone pain won’t kill you but not having any white blood cells to fight off any germs can kill you. So…the patch I go. I started having bone pain in the evening and more numbness in my feet. This is one side effect from the Carboplatin chemo I take.

Dec 1

Didn’t sleep well at all. Again, I don’t see how I can go this long without really sleeping much during the night and I can never sleep during the day not matter how hard I try.
I took my steroids and acid reflux meds like every morning after chemo. Not feeling so great, very tired. So far I’m not having any stomach issues which is very odd especially since they upped my chemo dose yesterday.

I really had no energy today. Stayed on the couch all day. Around 5pm the bone pain started to hurt more in my sternum and the Neulasta patch hadn’t even kicked in yet. It always happens when the evening comes for some reason. The patch went off around 5:30pm and after that the real pain started. Doctor said to take Clariton. For some reason it helps with the bone pain from the Neulasta side effect.
Neulasta helps the body make more white blood cells by stimulating the immune system, which also creates histamines. So your doctor also may recommend an antihistamine such as Claritin NOT Claritin-D – to ease bone pain caused by Neulasta. I took the Claritin, it only helped a little. After looking it up online at several places, most people say they start taking the Claritin the night before the patch goes off. I didn’t know this. I will definitely try that the next chemo round!
Usually the day after chemo I feel really good because I’m on steroids but not this time. Really have felt pretty lousy all day with no energy.
I did a tiny bit of Christmas decorating to finish my house but that was all for about 45 minutes and back on the couch I went. This couch crap is killing me. I hate it. While I’m fighting for my life I feel like I’m wasting so much time on the couch! Sorry, that’s just my personality. I like to be busy doing things and not working or touring is really depressing me. Ok, stop being a baby right? Toughen up, get thru it!

Dec 2nd

Really did not feel good this morning. Didn’t do very much at all and my best friend from high school is coming in to stay with me for two weeks while my caretaker has to be out of town. We have always stayed extremely close and she married one of my closest cousins!:) I’m really looking forward to seeing her but I wish it were under different conditions but at least I will get to spend some time with her.

Today is also the day that the cemetery where my mom is does their Christmas celebration. It’s a beautiful celebration and I really wanted to go but not feeling so well at all. I debated on staying home this year but since my mom passed in 2015, this celebration is really turned into my Christmas day with my family. The cemetery is the largest one I’ve ever seen and very well taken care of. Not sure how many people are buried there but I’m assuming well over 10,000?? People start arriving around 1pm to decorate their loved ones grave. I got there around 2pm because I wanted to make sure I could park next to my momma since I can’t really walk that far because my energy level is so low.
My family got there around 3:30pm and we started decorating my moms grave.
Everyone does a nice job. From Christmas trees, wreaths, lights, flowers to people setting off sky lanterns. They say prayers and play Christmas music all day over the loud speaker. They also serve coffee, tea, cider and cookies to everyone there. The crew puts luminary candles on each grave and around 4:30pm they start lighting them all. It’s so beautiful to see. It’s also wonderful to see the family’s decorating during the day. When you look around and see thousands of people decorating their loved ones resting place you can’t help but feel so much love. It was the night before the super moon so the moon was huge. To see all the lights and decor is really pretty. I’ve never heard of a cemetery doing this before. Pretty amazing that they do this. My momma would love it. I’m so glad we picked this place for her to be in.  Here’s a small sample of what it looks like but know there are probably over 10,000 graves lit up!

As much as I wanted to stay there with my family, I was feeling really bad so I had to leave soon after they lit all the luminaries. I was very hungry so I met my caregiver at PF Changs. I picked this place because for some reason asian food has been my go to food since starting chemo. I ordered few items so I could make sure something tasted good. I was in a lot of bone pain and tired so we decided to get the food to go. When I got home to eat, none of the food tasted good. It was really upsetting because I was hungry and wanted to eat it so bad. Some people just say “plow thru it and eat it because you need to”. That’s easier said than done trust me. For me, when food tastes bad, it taste God awful to where I have to literally spit it out. Not everyone goes thru this. There are factors that play with what kind of chemo and how much you are getting that works against food taste. There’s a bad metal taste to food and but then an awful after taste as well. This Chemo number 4 has been the worst so far and the doctor said around number 3-4 the side effects would get worse because the treatments are accumulative. Not only was I in pain, I couldn’t eat anything. I forced myself to eat some of the soup and went to bed.

 

 

Dec 3

I didn’t sleep at all…..what’s new. Today my best friend from high school in Michigan arrives. I feel awful. Sundays after Chemo treatments have always been my worst. I’ve been in bone pain all day. My sternum, the top of my stomach and my feet all hurt. My feet are numb from the ball of my foot to the end of my toes. All side effects. I sat there thinking, “I really feel awful, should I go to the hospital?, how am I going to handle chemo #5 and 6 if they are worse than this?” From what I’m told they will be. My friend arrived around 7:15pm. We sat up a work space for her so she can still do her job while she’s here. I so appreciate her coming to stay with me so I won’t be alone. We talked for a while and watched a little TV then went to bed. The pain never let up. I took Claritin and Advil. I have to watch how much Advil or pain killers I take because of my liver issue. Doctor doesn’t want me to take it for more than a few days.

I know this is a lot for some of you to read and might be hard to take in all the side effects or pain but, I really want people to know what it’s like going thru chemo and cancer. I was blind sided by it all. I only had a few people to talk to about what chemo did to them before I started my treatments. PLEASE PLEASE I can’t stress this enough …..get all your mammos and pap smears done regularly ladies and if you are a man reading this…please follow thru with your yearly tests as well. Remember, the sooner you catch cancer the better chance you have to survive it!

Dec 4th

Usual…didn’t sleep, in a lot of bone pain and my toes stay numb all night to the point where I think that is keeping me awake as well. Headed to get fluids to hopefully make me feel better. Takes two hours to get one back of fluid.
My best friend Lisa who is staying with me went with me for my fluids. We then ran to the store to buy a new printer so she could do her work from my house.
After setting up the printer the couch grabbed me and I was there for the rest of the night. Trying not to take pain killers for the bone pain because of my liver enzymes being high but I had to take some Advil and a Claritin. Those only helped a little. I was up all night in pain. Still haven’t had any stomach issues thank God but I do find that very odd.

Dec 5

No sleep at all. Tried to even sleep on the couch and that didn’t help either.
Still feeling very ill and week I went for more fluids again today.
After fluids I came home and just rested. Lisa and I went out to eat and it was hard to find anything I could eat. All foods pretty much taste bad now. I can’t even eat Turkey, Chicken or beans now so getting protein is hard for me. Ensure’s will be my new diet I guess. I did manage to eat some soup and shrimp. As of right now, Shrimp, eggs, biscuits, plain pasta (no sauce) and a couple soups is about all I can eat. The taste is just too bad.
My energy level is very low. 2 more chemo’s to go and they will be worse…ugh!!!

Dec 6

Today was about the same as yesterday. Very low energy, still having some bone pain and taking Advil and Claritin but I feel a tad bit better.

Dec 7

Still no sleep. I really am amazed how long it’s been since I have really slept. How long can a body go with no real substantial sleep in months?? I’m taking Xanax and Gabapentin to help me sleep but it’s not helping.
I had breakfast and actually felt pretty good! Did some work on the internet and ran a couple errands. I came home and stared feeling sick with now stomach pain and the bone pain in my sternum and feet started up again. I went to the couch for a few hours. After a few hours I felt a bit better so Lisa and I ran out to get a prescription I needed, some things at the grocery store and to eat. Just before getting to the store my stomach started hurting again very bad and I felt very weak. I wanted to go home but knew I had to just run in a get a few things. Then I stumbled across this helpful little ride!!

 

 

I ended up feeling somewhat better and managed to do a little shopping. We came home and I was able to eat a little Ramen Noodles before I went to bed.