Still Fighting Like A Girl

August 16, “FIGHT LIKE A GIRL”

I’ve had a pretty good last few weeks.  A lot has been going on.  

Everyday I feel  a little bit better from my last surgery.  The soreness is getting a little better though I still struggle to  open a water bottle…haven’t tried a pickle jar yet lol.  My hair is growing and now I need a hair cut and not sure what to do with it.  Let it grow out, keep it short or shave it all off again ha!.  I have to say, a perk to being bald was I could get ready to go somewhere in a flash!  

My neuropathy has been off the charts in pain but the last few days it feels as if it has been a little better.  I had stopped taking my Niacin for almost 2 weeks because I was out of them and had to order them.  I started taking them again and I think it has helped a little.  Niacin has vitamin B3 in it and that’s supposed to help with neuropathy.  Driving my car around for errands really affects it and makes it worse it seems so I limit how much I drive.  I’m still having sever pain and numbness in my arm and hand.  Mostly on my right side but sometimes moves to my left.  I’m still praying that it is from a pinch nerve in my neck and NOT neuropathy from the chemo side effects.  Neuropathy in my feet doesn’t prevent me from playing my guitar but…if it’s in my hands and fingers that could be a major problem for me.  My eyes are still watery a lot which is a bummer when I wear makeup.  Some people have said to me “why wear make up your sick”.  I wear makeup if I go out because even though I may not feel good, I feel as if I look better than that makes me feel better.  

July 26th I had family come to visit.  We spend the time at the lake.  That was very good for me.  Being by the water heals my spirit and gives me peace.  It’s the “no stress” zone!  I have made some really great friends there and look forward to seeing them.  

On August 1, I had my follow up visit with my plastic surgeons office.  His nurse took out the last two stitches.  The others were self dissolving.  His nurse said everything looked like it was healing well.  I will see my actual plastic surgeon in two more weeks. 

Monday, August 6th was a big day. My video to “Fight Like A Girl” was released today on Great American Country (GAC).  That’s a network that plays country music video’s.  I’ve released 9 videos since my very first one in 1997 that was “I Could Love A Man Like That”.  Seeing the video to Fight Like A Girl was still as exciting to me.  It never gets old seeing one of your new videos on TV.  This is probably the most important video I have ever made because my goal was to create something that would encourage people to keep up the fight.

There has been great response to the song and video and that means the world to me.  I do feel that part of my purpose now is to help in some way with breast cancer awareness, a cure, maybe even help with finding preventions.   

It’s a fight song so I hope it helps anyone who has any kind of battle in their life. Music has always helped, healed and encouraged me.  I hope I can pay it forward with this song.

Some of my oncology team were watching for the video to air and sent me this picture that made me cry!  They are so great!  A very caring staff and great at what they do.  They have been a huge help in saving my life.

I met with another person who wants to try to help me find an investor to possibly help me promote breast cancer awareness and/or join forces with a breast cancer research company.  Asking you all for prayers that we get things worked out soon.  Someday I would love to be part of the cure or present a breast cancer research company with a large check!!!  Or an organization that helps patients with guidance or financial aid.  We will get it worked out and the right thing will happen.  I have the faith!

Tuesday 8/8/18 I had chemo this morning.  I always wake up sad when I know it’s chemo day.  Though I know I’m a cancer patient right now, it seems to hit me hard emotionally on chemo days.  I was putting my cat in his room this morning and said to him “I won’t be long, I’m going to chemo and I’ll be back home”.  Then it hit me.  The fact that those words came out of my mouth still doesn’t seem right sometimes.  When I realized what I said it was like a truck hit me emotionally.  I gathered up my backpack and put my big girl pants on and went to chemo.  When I walked in some of the nurses were there that has seen my video and they started cheering at how much they loved the video and that I put the picture the sent me on facebook.  So again, they changed my mood.  They called me back to take my vitals and get my port connected and then I realized once again I forgot to put my numbing cream on my port.  Ugh!  Let’s just say it hurt when they put the needle in for my chemo drip.  Almost  a year of chemo treatments…how can I forget the numbing cream??!  

I went back in my chair and talked with one of the nurses for while I was getting my chemo.  We were talking about cancer and all the new treatments that have been working.  Immunotherapy seems to be working on a few different types of cancers.  We also talked about what can woman do as a prevention of getting cancer in the first place.  That’s something that really bothers me.  Estrogen, hormones are put in so many female items these days.  Is it in our lotions? Our make up?  There are many studies out now about these very things.  It’s unfortunate that we have to do our own research on so many things now.  

As we talked a patient who is often getting chemo the same time I do walked in.  She is on the same chemo I am on right now.  If all plans go accordingly I will have two more chemo treatments after today and I will be done.  She has to have this chemo for the rest of her life.  Herceptin, it’s a targeted chemo so it’s only killing any cancer cells that are left in my body and not really attacking my good cells  anymore but…this woman has to have it for the rest of her life because her cancer at metastasized.  When my treatment was over, I left in a much different mood.  Every time I leave chemo, I feel better, I feel lucky to count one more treatment down!   

I get tired after chemo so I went home and rested.  Tonight I am going to a couple music industry events.  Kenny Chesney and David Lee Murphy are having a number one party and then I’m going to see my friend Wynonna and Naomi Judd, “The Judds” grand opening of their exhibit in the Country Music Hall of Fame.   I am so happy for them.  They were a huge inspiration to me and my decision on moving to Nashville and trying a musical career.  

The night didn’t start out so well.  There was a bit of confusion as to how to attend both events because they were going on at the same time.  I was also very tired from chemo.  My friend actually said to me in the car that maybe I shouldn’t talk to anyone that night because so far I couldn’t remember names or get the right words out when I was talking to her lol.  Yes, chemo can do that to you.  With chemo brain, I dropped her off and I decided I would just stay in the car and not attend this party.  She was just going to run in for a few minutes but then she called me and said “The Isaacs are here and want to see you”.  Well, I’m a huge Isaac fan and love them so I decided to go inside.   As I went to pay for the parking I was harassed by a drunk man asking for money.  I was already in a hurry and he just kept harassing me for money as I was trying to pay for my parking. To me it looked like the parking machine did not take American Express and that was the only credit card I had with me.  I also only had a 100 dollar bill for cash.  I was worried about pulling out any cash because I thought I would get robbed by this guy who was bothering me so I quickly shoved the $100 bill in the machine.  The machine wouldn’t go forward and give me the parking pass.  Then I read the sign below that said “no refunds”.  So I just lost $100 and still didn’t have a parking ticket.  I then realized the machine did accept American Express so I quickly shoved that card in and it finally worked.  I finally got my parking pass $130 later ha ha!!  I was so upset that I finally told the drunk guy to shut up and leave me alone ha!  My friend came out to get me and I just thought to myself “calm down, you are going in to see your friends the Isaacs, Kenny Chesney and celebrate a great moment for a number one party. Then afterwards you get to go see The Judds and their new exhibit at the Hall of Fame”.  So, I was mad about losing the $130 for parking for about 2 minutes and than I changed my attitude.  It’s funny now.  After my diagnosis, I catch myself getting mad at things and quickly think…stop…you are so lucky to be alive…let it go.  

I went in and talked with the Isaacs and a few others for about 20 minutes then we left.  Thank God the Hall of Fame had valet parking ha ha!  It was great to see The Judds at such a great event for them.  I was so happy.  They are so deserving of this. 

While I was there I met this woman and we just naturally struck up a conversation.  Ends up she works for a company that is trying to get the government to stop allowing company’s to use ingredients in their products that causes breast cancer.  We talked for a long time.  I’m going to meet her for lunch.  She said their goal is to prevent cancer from happening.  Part of the same conversation I had had with one of my nurses yesterday at chemo.   Was it a coincidence that I struck up a conversation with this woman or was it a meant to be?  

Thursday 8/9/19, today is a big day.  I see my breast surgeon today.  It’s my 6 month check up since I had my mastectomy’s.  Of course all week I’ve been nervous about this appointment.  Worried that he might find a new lump.  It was very anxious but really sad before going in to see him.  As I sat in his office waiting to see him, his nurse looked me over and did an exam.  She seemed like every thing seemed to be ok.  She said my doctor would be in soon and left the room.  I sat there with my friend as we waited.  He finally came into the room and said “I’m sorry you had to wait and that my eyes are teary but I just spend the last 3 minutes watching your video”.  He really liked it and said he really thought it would help a lot of people to keep up their fight.  That made me feel really good!  I told him that was the whole reason why I wrote the song and shot the video.  

He did his exam and said that he thought every looked great and that he was going on to believe that I was cancer free and a winner!  So again, my day turned around from a sad one to a very happy day. I am so very thankful for this news.  I will see him every 3 months for the first two years and then every 6 months after that for a couple years.  

Aug 16, Thursday.  

I’m still having the pain and numbness in my arms and hands.  It’s so bad when I lay down I can’t make a fist.  My fingers hurt when I try to bend them, especially my ring finger.  I guess I am going to have to see a bone specialist to see if it is a pinched nerve.  I will also have them check out my hips seeing that I still haven’t had those checked outside of an X-ray.  I really do not want to have hip replacement surgery.  My arms and hands, another issue.  I have to get this figured out.  It’s too painful and could prevent me from playing my guitar and instruments and that just can not happen.

Press has been really great  for the song and video to “Fight Like A Girl” but hearing from people that they are inspiring them through their battle really means a lot to me.  The great thing about press and everyone sharing the video and the song, it will help to save others and encourage more people.  The best thing that could happen is that we get enough attention with this song so I can join with an organization not only to bring awareness but to help raise money for breast cancer research or financial aid to those that are going through breast cancer.   When your have to stop working because you are ill, it is life changing in yet another way in your life.  Trust me, not being able to go to work has been a very big issue for me.  Not only financially but, performing is part of who I am.  It isn’t just a job.  I am determined that I will go back to work, back on the road.  I’m looking for a new booking agent and a new team to work with me regarding my career but also with this new purpose that I have in the fight against breast cancer.    

My guitar has always been my best friend but over the last few months I have felt like it lives in Colorado and I live in Tennessee. We are distant from each other not just from touch but mentally as well.  Right now, to play the guitar isn’t a good thing for me mentally because it isn’t the same and it really depresses me.   Not sure if I will explain this correctly but, it hurts to play.  Not just because I lost the calluses that I’ve had since I was 4, but because of my arms and hands have been hurting so bad and the with the numbness, I am not playing the way I play.  I know (truly believing) that I will get through my treatments and playing the guitar will be just as it was before I got sick.  Emotionally it can really get to me so the best thing I can do is to stay away from it right now.  You know you have a great friend when you can go for months without talking with them and then when you do you just pick right backup like no time had passed?  Well, that’s how me and my guitar will be again in the near future.  It’s very hard for me to not be doing music but I am determined that this is only temporary.  I WILL be back on my favorite stage the Grand Ole Opry.  I am determined!  

Good news is that my energy level is getting better every day but I’m still limited to what I can do so that’s frustrating as well.  Things I use to be able to do quickly takes me longer or I can’t do them because it requires lifting and I can’t lift that much weight.  I am so anxiously waiting for the end of September to get here.  My chemo treatments will be done and hopefully I’ll be healed from my surgery’s and I can get on with my life and be able to be more pro-active in the fight against breast cancer.

If you all want to help, please purchase my song “Fight Like A Girl” from itunes or Amazon.  Also please share my video and song download link on your social pages and post it as public so everyone can see your post.   Why do I ask this?

The more the song get’s purchased and shared, it keeps the momentum going for me to continue to share my story to more people to encourage others through their fight, to bring more awareness to what’s going on with breast cancer, to help me join with an organization raise money for research in some way.  

I really appreciate all of you who read this blog and have joined me on this fight.  

To purchase the song and share the video you can go to www.anitacochran.com.

Again I would like to thank those who helped me record this song and video!  Jason Cheek and Scott Hundley for helping me record the song and to Patti Blevins, Tonia Pound and Suzanne Alexander for helping me to get the video shot.  I love you all!!!